I was reading a friend’s Facebook post regarding how to treat your spouse as the head of household or something like that. And I thought to myself how free I am from stupid “default” gender roles. The post was discussing whether you serve your husband’s plate or your kid’s first. Well, we know what the answer is for me considering my lack of husband. Or kids I feed for that matter, but they’re still incubating so in this scenario I’ll let it go.
Why does there have to be a one size fits all scenario? As long as you’re figuring it out together, what does it matter? My wife and I work as a team and there are some things she’s better at than me and vice versa. I love that we’re able to play to our strengths as individuals instead of pigeon holing ourselves into things we’re not passionate about. Except dishes. I’m not passionate about dishes but I do them because I share this house & home and it’s part of life. Speaking of which, I forgot to do laundry today. Drat.
Anyways, the “head of household” title drives me nuts. Is it me because I have the bigger paycheck right now? Is it whoever stays home with our child when they make their debut because they’re literally the head of the household by being there more? What does it mean? Do you get a crown? A head of household badge or sticker? Can we have two? Is it like having a co-host? Or is it two co-hosts without a main host?
As it stands I prep food for the wife first because, well, at the moment she’s preggers and if she doesn’t eat before she says “I’m hungry” the world will implode. Actually that’s the case when she’s not preggers too, but the flip-side of that coin is that if I’ve had a particularly rough day she’ll prep food for me. I just can’t imagine a scenario where it’s always one of us serving the other forever and for always because that seems…not like a partnership and more like a servant situation (ahem, note the root word). We’re both here to support each other not serve each other. They are not interchangeable.
That’s not to say we don’t have our routines. When we have fresh vegetables from the farm I love cooking big dinners and I always love making breakfast. I’m an earlier riser and it’s nice to have quiet time in the mornings on weekends. Yes, I said I like quiet time. Moving on…
I suppose I’m frustrated with how ingrained these things are in our society. The thought that certain things are how life “should” because some other human did it that way doesn’t mean it’s the only way. There are hundreds of ways to live life. I’m thankful I have a relationship with someone who’s building that life with me together. We’re both better for it.
That said I want head of household stickers and pins and badges and light up shoes and a jersey.
But I need two of each.
Except shoes since I’ll need four total ‘cuz pairs. 😎
Brianna Makes a Mess 